Good bye, Princess

I heard the news about Carrie Fisher, just as I was coming back from my lunch break. I decided to grab an afternoon cuppa, and as I waiting for my teabag to steep, I checked Facebook. I saw the news. It still feels unreal. I knew, of course, she had been in the hospital. Had heard she was in stable condition, though still in the ICU.

I believe Return of the Jedi was the first Star Wars film I saw. I know my dad had it taped on a VHS. The first time I saw A New Hope was in 1997 when they re-released it in the theatres. I was thirteen going on fourteen. I had been born the same year Return of the Jedi was released in theatres. My dad had watched the Star Wars film when they first came out, and wanted to share this piece of iconic history with his daughters. Princess Leia, I thought, was amazing. At that age, I did not quite realize what an icon she was. I think it was only when I re-watched the entire trilogy in college, did I realize her importance. Here was a woman who didn't need rescuing. She was a Princess, but she was not a damsel. When I saw The Force Awakens in theatres (twice, in fact!), I cheered when she came onto screen. This quiet authority and respect she commanded as a General, but also encouraged. You could see why the character of Poe Dameron hero-worshiped her. But it was also Carrie Fisher we were seeing; an older wiser version of not just the character, but the actress playing her. This was a woman who struggled with mental illness and addiction, and came through to the other side. She was a thoughtful, witty writer, who was not afraid to make fun on herself in her books. (I really do need to read The Princess Diarist.) She championed herself, and as a result, women everywhere.

Yesterday (Sunday), while C. and I were doing chores around the apartment, we had the British comedy quiz show 8 out of 10 cats playing via YouTube on in the background. One of the episodes was from December 21st, and had Carrie Fisher as a guest. I made the comment this was likely her last appearance before she had her heart attack. Little did I know, I would be watching her last appearance.

2016 has been a year we have lost many celebrities. And perhaps it is stupid to mourn them. I did not know them. I saw their movies or listened to their music or read their books, but everything I knew, is what they put forth; what they wanted us to know. But still. The pop culture you grow up with, it does help to mold the type of person you want to be. I can only hope I too can grow up to be a bad-ass Princess who does not need rescuing from anybody.